Massive Jamal Protest Ties Up Small Section Of Sidewalk

On January 20th,a massive protest by supporters of convicted cop-killer, Mumia Abu-Jamal tied up a small section of sidewalk in Center City Philadelphia. The tremendous outpouring of support for the "voice of the voiceless" had some thirty participants. Nearly half of those were MOVE children who were pulled away from their study of quantum physics and bioengineering at Drexel University,in order to attend. Demonstrators effectively halted pedestrian traffic for over five minutes on half a section of sidewalk while people walking by were subjected to a completely unintelligible tirade that made Pat Robertson sound completely sane and rational.

For their part, the District Attorney's office was shocked and terrified at the huge turn-out. It was reported that District Attorney Seth Williams was huddled in a small supply closet in the basement of his office while the demonstration was going on. His staff had to reassure him that the hundreds of Philadelphia Police Officers protecting the building would be enough to prevent it from being overwhelmed by Jamal's spirited defenders before he would even consider coming out.

The U.S. Supreme Court justices who ruled against Jamal were similarly overwhelmed by the veritable army of warriors demanding "Free Mumia"! Said justice Alito, "I haven't seen a protest of this intensity and magnitude since Chicago in '68!"

Upon reading the colorful and grammatically correct signs held by the protester, one elderly Philadelphian said "I never knew that Theo Hugstable from the Cosby Show even was in prison."